Unforgiveness of Self Is Holding You Back In Life

Forgiveness isn’t just about being and saying sorry or an act of contrition or consciously acknowledging what you may or may not have done wrong.  Forgiveness has way more value in our lives than a simple contritious act of being sorry.  It is far more reaching than that.  All religious, spiritual and metaphysical doctrines speak, teach and preach at length about forgiveness.  What isn’t said is that forgiveness frees up mental, emotional and physical real estate so we can use that space to create what we want in our lives.

The Universal or Spiritual Laws state clearly that two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  If your mind is filled with guilt, blame, shame, fear, anger, hatred, hurt, revenge or trying to figure out why etc, there is no room for you to use that space to create what you are wanting to manifest in your life.  And more often than not to let go of these feelings takes forgiveness of self.

Forgiveness is about you and how you are choosing to feel about any given situation.  It  really has nothing to do with anyone else and what you think they may be feeling or not. You are the one who is living within the drama and the trauma of YOUR feelings.   It’s so important to get a clear understanding that you cannot make anyone feel anything.  They, like you, get to choose how they are emotionally impacted by events and situations that you are both involved in.

Mystics and metaphysicians throughout the ages have known and spoken on the power of forgiveness.  In some twisted convoluted way forgiveness has been presented to you in a way that you must forgive others for what they have done to you.   In theory that’s all well and good, but in practice it doesn’t work.  And as a result you get to experience the ol’ adage, I can forgive, but not forget.  Is that really forgiveness?  Holding on to old hurts and not truly letting go of the past, just in case they should do it again, you’d be ready…this time.  Ready to do what?   If you have to address it again, it’s already happened.

Look, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be angry, want revenge, be hurt, be hateful, and feel guilt, fear, blame and shame.  It’s impossible not to feel all these things and more as they are your spontaneous emotional reactions to things going on in your life.  How you feel emotionally, mentally and physically are wonderful barometers that provide you with information that you use to make choices in the best interest of self.

And so it is with forgiveness.  Forgiveness is all about you.  If you don’t know what forgiveness feels like, and how to attain that feeling within you, you can’t forgive anybody.  How can you?  How can you do something you don’t know how to do?  How will you know if you have achieved your goal of forgiveness, if you don’t have personal experience that allows for those parameters to be put in place?   Until you understand what it is to forgive yourself you will never be able to forgive anyone else.  It’s impossible.  You will play act at it.  And in many ways believe that you have forgiven said persons until something similar rears its head again and you find yourself back at square one.

Forgiveness must start with you.  Let’s get something clear from the start.  Forgiveness of self has NOTHING to do with forgiving yourself for “allowing” what happened to happen.  Get it through your head, allowing has nothing to do with anything I AM speaking about.   Why?  Sometimes in life you are not strong enough, wise enough, clear enough or healthy enough or old enough or even young enough to prevent what happened from happening.  So going down the road of self-recrimination does nothing for you, but add more trauma and drama to your life.  It creates an internal dialog that goes like this, “if I wouldha, shouldha and couldha.”  And you and I know how unhelpful that type of inner conversation is.  Forgiveness of self has everything to do with forgiving yourself, because of what happened.  Get clear on the distinction between allowed and happened.

Question: From your personal experience would you be able to describe what a white strawberry taste like?  And there is such a thing and no it doesn’t taste like chicken.  If you haven’t tasted it you would only be able to go on the information that others provide for you.  You can only imagine, you won’t know categorically for yourself until you eat one and have your own experience.

The same is true of forgiveness.  Until you experience “forgiveness of self given by self” you will not be able to effectively forgive anyone, nor will you be able to receive forgiveness. It will remain an elusive idea in your mine based on what you have been taught, not what you’ve experienced.

So why is forgiveness so important?  Primarily because it gives you the option of choosing to let go of people, places and things that have no relevance in your life anymore.  It frees you to choose to use your energy to consciously focus and manifest what you want in your life.  It gives you permission to show up and be who you want to be without having to apologize for that and inadvertently gives others permission to do the same. Forgiveness also gives you complete ownership, accountability and responsibility for your actions and reactions. It also prevents energy from becoming trapped and stagnant within your physical body, which creates ill health. From physical aches and pains to digestive issues. From insomnia to OCD to high blood pressure, diabetes and other life threatening illnesses.   Can you see the role forgiveness plays in your life and why the mystics have always preached on the subject?

To effectively manifest what you want in life and keep that manifestation, one of the first things you will need to do is work on self.  Part of that work is experiencing firsthand what it feels like to be forgiven.  Not by others, but by self.

It’s interesting to note that many people can consciously manifest what they want, but can’t hold on to it.  It’s like sand running through their fingers.  If this is you then much of the inability to hold on to what you have manifested so you can move on to the next stage of your life, stems from not adhering to the Universal/Spiritual Laws.  One of those foundational Laws is the understanding and implementing on a continuous basis the Universal Law of Forgiveness in your life.

Do you feel that you need to forgive others?  Do you feel people need to ask for forgiveness from you? Wherever you find yourself in order to give and or receive forgiveness you need to know what it feels like, sounds like and looks like to you.
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