I came across this blog I had written a few years ago and ironically, it’s in total sync with today’s podcast, “How well do you know yourself?”
I was browsing the isles of my favorite clothing stores. In fact, today is my designated, thank you for being you Wendy and all that you do for you day. And for that I’m giving back to myself day. What this translates to is I’m going to shop till I drop for whatever I want. So, I’m browsing the isles looking at some, hmm, how do I say this? Really uuuugly stuff and I can’t but help over hear the conversation between the extremely peppy sales assistant and a new customer to the store.
The assistant is seriously digging through the shirt isle. Ladies, you know the one I mean, the side wall that runs the length of the store? Yeah! That one! Where the merchandise is displayed at three levels. And woe is you, if you are attracted to a particular item that isn’t eye or hip level. Then an assistant has to retrieve the garment using a pole with a hook attached on the end, but i digress.
Assistant: Hello can I help you find anything?
Customer: I need a shirt to go under this jacket (she was purchasing the jacket)
Assistant: What color are you thinking about, blue and this color peach is in season.
Customer: Umm? I think I want white.
Assistant: Where do you work? Oh for the judicial system. If this is for business, fashion for business is now more casual and the blue or peach will look great under that jacket.
Customer: I was really thinking something basic, so that I could mix and match it with other outfits that I have.
Assistant: That always works to be able to mix and match your clothing. But, peach and blue are this seasons colors and I know that you want to be in the height of fashion. (ha ha) And peach is your color.
Okay, I just have to interject here. As a former color specialist, peach in any shade, tone or hue was not and never will be this woman’s color. She would look hideous.
Customer: Oh, do you really think so? I never thought that I looked very good in peach. I was really thinking of something more basic. Something in white.
Assistant: You’ll look lovely in peach.
So the conversation goes on like that for a while and I kinda zone out. And I laser back in when I hear the assistant say;
Assistant: You don’t want sleeveless at your age because of your arms, you should go for the three quarter length or short sleeve.
I didn’t actually hear the customer’s response as I went into a serious mental dialog with myself. “What the heck is wrong with this picture?” I could have listed all the things that the sales assistant did wrong. In fact, I was cataloging her failures in my head thinking to myself, “wow, she didn’t even listen to what that woman wanted.” And then low and behold, I see the customer purchasing said PEACH short sleeve shirt at the register, still talking about basic white as she hands over her credit card.
As a choice expert, I kicked into high gear. My focus shifted from the sales assistant to the customer. Let’s face it, the sales assistant had to be commended, because she had done her job and done it well, . For whatever reason and in truth, the reasons don’t matter, what does matter is, the customer did not ensure that her needs where sufficiently met. And it’s the customer’s responsibility to get what she needs. As in life it’s your responsibility to get what you need.
What I witnessed, and hear me clearly, this is only from my perspective, is that the customer knew all too well that she looks hideous in peach. I knew it too. Yet, she purchased the peach short sleeve shirt, bearing in mind that she wanted sleeveless and white. She also knew that she wanted to be able to use this new garment with other clothing that is currently in her closet, and in listening to her conversation, peach wasn’t going to do it for her anytime soon. Her career field dictated a professional dress code and from what I could gather, peach didn’t factor in it…at least not for her.
The question she may be asking herself and others may ask as well is why did you buy a shirt in a color and style you didn’t want? That is a fair question to ask. However, it’s not an empowering question, because if focuses on all her shortcomings and distressing history. It’s an extrinsic question that delves into the past looking to find solutions to the future. And just so we are on the same page, the question “why?” doesn’t provide a solution, it lets you know what happen and in most cases, you know exactly what has happen. The question is what’s going to happen now. No solution is ever found in the past. The past just gives you information on what hasn’t work for you.
A better question to ask would be “What are you wanting your shopping experience to be like? Or what are you wanting to experience when you shop for clothing?” This is an intrinsic based question that is guaranteed, if pursued, to empower you to get your needs met. It will allow you to stand your ground, because when you answer this question for yourself, instead of someone answering for you, you will know with clarity who you are and what you want. When you have full cognition of your wants and needs you are going to make choices in the best interest of self, without feeling the need to sacrifice yourself on the altar of what someone else wants for you.
Get clear on what you want. Stand Your Ground!
Dr. Wendy is a choice expert and lecture on the understanding the Laws of Attraction and how they work in your daily life. You can find her on YouTube and listen to her weekly podcast “My Life My Choice” on Wednesday’s at 1:00pm PST on Blog Talk Radio