When asked the question “What’s standing in the way of your happiness?” many people can give a passionate monologue of all the things they feel are preventing their happiness from manifesting. This is mainly attributed to other people who have done something or are doing things that prevent them from finding happiness.
I will acknowledge everyone has a right to feel and does feel hurt, angry, disappointed, disillusioned, even stunned into doing nothingness as a result of a relationship or situation that has gone south. I’ve been there myself and expect that I will go there again. Yet, with everything that has happened to you, it doesn’t give you the right to claim that people, places or things are standing in the way of your happiness. That simply isn’t true!
If you are making the claim that he or she, they or them or it, is standing in the way of your happiness, then you are playing a dangerous game. You’ve entered into the blame game. Using this as your chosen modus operandi is destined for failure. It’s a game you cannot win. And blaming people for your life’s misfortunes undermines your ability to think about your life with forward momentum.
As hard as this may be for you to digest, you are choosing to be unhappy with the situations, events, people, places and things that you are in conflict with. People, places and things cannot make you unhappy, nor can they stand in the way of your happiness unless you are choosing this. In no way am I saying to deny your emotions and ignore what your feelings are expressing to you. Neither am I suggesting that you pretend what happened didn’t happen. That’s a fool’s errand. All it will do is trigger another host of feelings that will compound your already spiraling emotions. What I am saying is figure out who is really standing in the way of you being happy.
So, what’s standing in the way of your happiness? You are! Yes, you are!!! Take the situation or event that you have been through or are going through and ask yourself this question, “What is this situation showing me about me and what I want for my life?”
Should your emotions flare up, and you launch into the blame game or a pity fest know that this is okay. What I suggest is not to climb on board and allow your emotions to control you by sending you into a downward spiral. You control your emotions by simply asking the question again, and again and again until you are able to answer yourself from the heart. This answer will give you understanding and above all a new way to look at the situation. You’ll be surprised, the same situation which only moments ago had you on an emotional carpet ride, no longer has the power to negatively impact your world.
If you have things that you believe are stealing your happiness, the I urge you to make the choice to have a conversation with self to figure out what the situation is showing you about self and what you need to do next to move forward in your life.