The ability to communicate effectively is about creating an open-ended dialog, even if you are talking with yourself.  Basically, this means that you create an intrinsic conversation where there is room for authenticity, honest expression, and expansion of conscious awareness. Or, if you will, understanding, learning and growth.  If you are talking at or to others, or yourself, you are not communicating effectively.

Communicating effectively is a conversation that takes place absent the judge. There is no judgement about thoughts expressed, just a sense of curiosity.  Also, the conversation with self or others isn’t one sided. And, it definitely isn’t trying to get someone, or yourself to buy into a concept or an ideal that doesn’t resonate within you.  It’s about finding common ground, upon which to build a foundation that you can move forward from.

When you talk at, or to, yourself and or others there is no dialog. There is only a monolog designed for you to unload and be heard. That isn’t a conversation, and it’s not communicating effectively.

Total ownership, responsibility, and accountability for your feelings, and then how you choose to express those feelings, is the key to effective communication.  As an experiment, give yourself permission to try talking with yourself and others, rather than at, or to.

Blessings,

Dr. Wendy