Did you know that when the reality of life doesn’t meet your chosen expectations you experience disappointment? Have you ever been deeply disappointed? Yes! Are you afraid for your future? Yes! Does it feel like your foundation has been rocked? Yes! When earth shattering disappointment is experienced there is a tendency to look at your life past, present and future with this distorted ‘disappointment’ lens, reexamining all the painful situations that have occurred in your life. Is this normal? Yes. However be aware that there does come a point in time when the normal becomes the abnormal and with that comes psychological and physiological problems.
Everyone reading this post knows what it feels like for the reality of life not to meet the desired expectation. Disappointments! Everyone has experienced their own personal crucible, or, if you will, their own trial by fire. Disappointments! The amazing thing about life is you have a choice whether or not to remain in your crucible or remain buried beneath your ashes of disappointment. You and only you get to choose if you step from the crucible newly formed, stronger and wiser for your experience. Only you and you alone get to choose if you rise up like phoenix from the ashes that had tried to incinerate and bury you. And yes, you have recently found yourself in your crucible and or in flames. You’ve experience life altering disappointment. Now what!? What does it look like to use this experience to empower yourself?
That being said, ever the optimist and a diehard believer in the power of conscious choice, I know that this experience you’ve been through collective and individually can be used as a stepping stone to achieve what you want for your life. It’s all about choosing how to look at you in your world.
2017 is literally days away. The coming year is all about you finding empowerment through conscious choice despite your circumstances. It’s about you choosing what you are wanting for YOU and your life, irrespective of what’s going on around you. It’s about you choosing how you will be influenced by your external world and how you show up in your world. People have said to me that’s not possible to get what I want because_________you fill in the blank. Well, I beg to differ. Anything is possible if you BELIEVE! So make a choice that you can believe in and make sure it’s realistic, because when reality doesn’t meet expectation disappointment ensues. Then get crystal clear clarity on your choice, by marrying yourself to it ensuring that you are completely vested in your dream. Then simply create the stepping stones needed to get it. Simple? Yeah, but complex.
Start out by having a fun loving, honest, authentic, serious conversation with self. And remember, as you talk with self this isn’t a conversation about regrets, recriminations, guilt if I wouldha, shouldha, couldha, blaming others and self, trying to fix something from your past. It’s not about the why’s in your life, it’s about the what’s.
So start your conversation by asking yourself, “What am I wanting for me in this moment?” This question needs to be asked this way so it can take you on a magical inner journey where you get to explore self at a whole new exciting level. Once you’ve defined what you want then you must marry yourself to it by engaging your five senses. To do this ask yourself, “What does the thing you want look like, feel like, sound like, taste like and smell like?” If you don’t engage your senses it’s not real to you and therefore won’t happen for you.
Start creating the life you want for 2017 NOW. Use your disappointments to catapult you from your crucible or to raise you from your ashes stronger and wiser for your experience.
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Dr. Wendy Dearborne Choice Expert and Intrinsic Life Coach