Stand Your Ground You Know Who You Are

Today I was browsing the isles of my favorite clothing store.  In fact, today is my designated, thank you for being you Wendy and all that you do for you day.  And for that I’m giving back to myself.  What this translates to is, I’m going to shop till I drop, for whatever I want.   So, I’m browsing the isles looking at some, umm, how do I say this?  Really uuuugly stuff and I can’t but help over hear the conversation between the extremely peppy sales assistant and a new customer to the store.

The assistant is seriously digging though the shirt isle.  Ladies you know the one I mean, the side wall that runs the length of the store?  Yeah!  That one!  Where the merchandise is displayed at three levels.  And woe is you, if you are attracted to a particular item that isn’t eye or hip level.  Then an assistant has to retrieve the garment using a pole with a hook attached on the end.
Customer:  I need a shirt to go under this jacket (she was purchasing the jacket)
Assistant:  What color are you thinking about, blue and this peach is in season.
Customer:  Umm?  I think I would like white.
Assistant:  Where do you work?  Oh for the judicial system.  If this is for business, fashion for business is now more casual and the blue or peach will look good under the jacket.
Customer: I was really thinking something basic so that I could mix and match other outfits that I have.
Assistant: That works to be able to mix and match.  But, peach and blue are this seasons colors and I know that you want to be in the height of fashion.  And peach is your color.

Okay, I just have to interject here.  As a former hair color specialist, peach in any shade, tone or hue was not and never will be this woman’s color.  She’d look hideous in that color.

Customer: Oh, do you really think so?  I never thought that I looked very good in peach.  I was really thinking of something more basic.  Something in white.
Assistant:  You look lovely in peach.

So the conversation goes on like that for a while, and I kinda zone out.  And I laser back in with pin point precision when I hear the assistant say;

Assistant:  You don’t want sleeveless at your age because of your arms, you should go for the three-quarter length or a shorter sleeve.


I didn’t actually hear the customer’s response to that because at that point I went into an internal tirade on her behalf.  “What the hell is wrong with this picture?    In fact, I started a running tally of all the sales assistance’s failures in my head, “wow, she didn’t even listen to what that woman wanted.  She even told the woman that her arms are flabby.”  And then lo and behold, I spy the customer purchasing said PEACH short sleeve shirt at the register…still talking about a basic white  sleeveless top she came in to purchase.

As a choice expert, I kicked into high gear.  My focus shifted from the sales assistant to the customer.  Let me just say this, the sales assistant had to be commended, because she had done her job and done it well. She moved the store merchandise and sold something to someone who didn’t want it.  I briefly wondered if the sales assistant had studied NLP.  For whatever reason the customer didn’t ensure that her needs were met.…and in truth, the reasons don’t matter.  What does matter is that the customer did not ensure that her needs were sufficiently met.  And guess what, she takes full ownership of that whether she wants to or not. It’s the customer’s responsibility to get what she needs.

What I witnessed, and hear me clearly, this is only from my perception, is that the customer knew all too well that she looks hideous in peach, yet still she purchased the peach short sleeve shirt, bearing in mind that she wanted something sleeveless and in WHITE! She also knew that she wanted to be able to use this new garment with other clothing that is currently in her closet, and in listening to her conversation, peach wasn’t going to do it for her.  Her career field dictated a dress code and from what I could gathered, peach didn’t factor in it.

The question may be asked why did she buy a shirt in a color and style she didn’t want?  That is a fair question.  However, it’s not an empowering question, because it focuses on all her shortcomings and distressing past history.  It’s an extrinsic question that delves into the past for solutions to the future.  No solution is ever found in the past.  Your past only gives you information on what hasn’t work for you.

A better question to ask yourself would be “What are you wanting your shopping experience to be like? Or what are you wanting to experience when you shop for clothing?”   This is an intrinsic based question that is guaranteed, if pursued, to empower you to get your needs met.  It will allow you to stand your ground, because when you answer this question you will know with clarity who you are and what you want.  When you have full cognition of your wants and needs you are going to make choices in the best interest of self, without feeling the need to sacrifice yourself on the altar of what someone else wants for you.

Stand your ground!  It’s the only foundation you have to build your life on.

Contact Dr. Wendy at or 702-425-8589